


Warm

by Layla_Fae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 21:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18322415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Layla_Fae/pseuds/Layla_Fae
Summary: He wanted Sehun with him, as desperate as that sounded. He saw all the other boys in each other’s company and it sadden him when the loneliness made its way up inside him. It was a very foreign feeling to him. He didn’t like it. It was like a hole inside him that he couldn’t tangibly fill or physically close. He was missing more than the boy; he was missing a part of himself.





	Warm

It’s 3:00 AM. Junmyeon couldn’t sleep. He always thinks too much at this point of the night. His mind couldn’t rest long enough for him to actually sleep. He’s always up just thinking about anyone or anything, sometimes just little random visions in his head. He always daydreams during the night. 

He always came to the same thought at some point though. The same thing that usually conquered the chaos that rambled about in his mind. Of course it was him. Why won’t it be? He never really leaves his thoughts. It only makes sense for it all to start and end with him. It always started and ended with him. 

Sehun was away sent away recently, leaving Junmyeon to lay in bed alone and cold with a tight chest and heavy heart. His eyes stung and his mind only ran around more now without him in the bed. Sehun could always calmed him down enough to sleep, enough so he could rest and be relieved from the held in anxiety that constantly pulsed inside himself throughout the day. The nervousness that he alway hid with a fake smile and an overly acted laugh seemed to evaporate once he was completely alone with the younger boy, like he finally comfortable enough to not fear rejection and judgement from the camera constantly around him. He could exhale again with Sehun near him, and that was more of a gift than the privilege of privacy. 

Junmyeon laid in the bed, staring at nothing in particular. His hair was still damp from the shower, the long end tips reaching to the back of his neck. They left a cool feeling on his skin, just like the room itself. The other members turned the A/C up a great deal from the intense humidity outside. None of them can sleep when it was too hot. Sehun was the opposite, finding it unbearable to sleep when it was too cold. Junmyeon felt as if he could never sleep either way. 

He took a few deep breaths, enough to constrict the muscles in his neck when his chest slowly fell up and down. He always held in the last bit of his exhale, finding himself subconsciously suffocating him before letting go. He viewed himself doing that with a lot of things in life overall, but he didn’t want to think about that now.

He laid in the dark with the door fully closed. The only light was the changing screen savers on the TV across the room from him and the only sound was of the waves on the other side of the outer wall, mixed in with the harsh air conditioning. Junmyeon thought of the boat trip he took years ago whenever he heard moving water, making him recall the sound of the boat ripping through the waves as it raced off. He thought of Sehun beside him during that trip and how he looked so young back then. He remembered thinking that he looked more mature back then, in that moment. But now the bags under his eyes were darker and the lines around his mouth deepen. Junmyeon only notice this because he saw it in his own face too. They were both growing old, he guess. Growing old together, like he always wanted. 

Finally, Junmyeon couldn’t handle the noiseless ringing inside his head anymore and reached for his phone underneath his pillow. He took it off the charger and searched for the number. He put it on speaker, praying for an answer. 

“Hello?” 

“Hunnie...” 

“Myeonie?”

“I can’t sleep.” 

Sehun actually laughed at him. The irony was unbelievable. Sehun could never sleep alone, and since Junmyeon was his favorite sleeping buddy, he would always get mad at him when he went away on an overnight trip. He would whine and cry, saying that he was leaving him all alone to suffer. Junmyeon would only giggle and tell him to not be so dramatic, but he was secretly touched with the claim. He liked the idea of Sehun missing him, almost like how he was missing the younger boy now. 

“Now you know how I feel. I just woke up a little while ago, and I didn’t sleep well alone.” 

“Without me?” 

“Of course. Who else am I going to sleep with?”

Junmyeon smiled at that. He felt special like he was actually one of kind to him. He knew that wasn’t entirely the case, but it was late and he was lonely, so he could trick himself into believing it for now, even if he would hate the realization the morning after. 

“I’m cold.” 

“It’s hot over here. I’m actually wearing shorts right now. In the middle of winter.” 

“Must be nice.”

“It is.” 

There was a long pause between them. Junmyeon could still hear Sehun’s movements through the phone. Weird taps and random clucky shuffles that he couldn’t make out how they were made or why but he didn’t care. Sehun was here, even though he really wasn’t. Junmyeon was still cold without him here, longing for more than his voice. 

“Sehun?” 

“Yeah?”

“I miss you.”

There was another short pause before his voice dropped lower and deeper. Junmyeon could feel the lightest hint of hot breath on his face when he speaks. 

“I miss you too.”

“Sehun?”

“Yeah?”

“Sing for me.”

Sehun chuckled at the request. It wasn’t random or odd. They usually do sing to each other sometimes, more from him than the other. Junmyeon really liked Sehun’s voice. It was a deep tenor with an edgy accent to it. It was sweet sounding to him, and he just wanted to pretend Sehun was actually near him. He wanted the feeling in his chest to be at ease, if not dissolve completely. 

“What do you want to hear?” 

“Anything. Korean, English. I don’t care.” He tells him. “Just sing to me till I fall asleep. Please?”

Sehun lightly snickered again before a moment of thought. Then he started humming a tune Junmyeon doesn’t entirely recognize but he didn’t care at this point. He closes his eyes and lets Sehun’s words left him up and stimulate him into peace. His mind is still and focused now, mainly on remembering and trying to feel how it normally feels to have long and strong arms around his waist and torso. They usually wrap him up from behind, usually while he’s on his side. His breaths are softer now. He vaguely feels warm again. 

He doesn’t recall Sehun hanging up the phone call. He just wakes up to his phone completely dead. 

He gets out of bed after putting his phone on the charger and goes on to get shower before breakfast. He was with the rest of the boys on the trip, the first private vacation that they had without cameras and a production crew with them. It was supposed to be the last good trip together before everyone started living their lives and taking on different projects without each other. Junmyeon knew that he had only a year or so left before he had to enlist. He knew this was the last time he would see all of them in the same space for a long time. 

The vacation was only supposed to be a week long, but they have been here for over two now. Each of them had nothing better to do, and some even canceled some schedules just to stay longer. They didn’t want to go back into the hectic life that waited for them in Korea. They all worked very hard for very long and lasting years now. This was the very least that they deserved. 

Sehun had to go to the high-end fashion event that the company signed up for him last minute. There was no negotiation in it, and Sehun said it was just better to do it for the night and come back that next day. Junmyeon nodded and agreed with him, once he was off the phone with the managers, knowing how he felt from the situation. The company put him in that situation more than anyone, usually pulling the guilt trip on him. He hated it when they did that to him, not as much he normally did afterwards when he lets them. He really hated himself then. 

He showered in the hot water for a long time, just standing under the head and letting the water soak his hair and run down his face till it temporarily suffocated him. He lets the water burn his skin, feeling the heat and hoping it stayed with him once he got out. He wanted it to last till he was back with Sehun late that night. 

He dressed in a hoodie Sehun left behind for him, knowing he would need it, and comes out into the kitchen. Most of the boys were there, sharing a plate of fruit while Kyungsoo made eggs for everyone. Junmyeon asked if they were drinking orange juice with champagne again. Minseok replied that they were once Chanyeol came back from the store with more of both. 

When he did, the boys drunk and lightly talked like they did every morning. It was nice, to Junmyeon at least, that none of them needed to have those heavy and deep conversations to be existing with each other. After all these years, they could all settle into a comfortable silence and be at peace with it. It meant more than any kind of scream or laughter that any of them could make. 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun finished first, swallowing the last of their drinks before excusing themselves for a nice morning walk on the beach while it was not crowded and felt nice and breezy outside. Jongdae stated that he would be in his room, laying down, before dragging Minseok behind him with refilled glasses. Jongin began to help Kyungsoo clean up and Junmyeon decided that it was best for him to leave then, knowing that Jongin was often more affectionate to the smaller boy when they were in private.

Junmyeon retreated back to his room and took his book out to his private balcony. He shared the room with Sehun when he was here. It was the only room on the second floor, with the balcony hidden away by most of the roof. They were the ones to find the small, old house for the trip and decided to take the liberate to calm the room for themselves. Sehun was always able to make the other boys bend to his will better than Junmyeon, despite him being the leader. 

Junmyeon sat out on his wooden chair, feeling the wind gently breeze around him as he read his book. He would casually look out to the ocean before him. The turquoise waves lingered on and off the white sand in layering shimmers. The sky reflected a different, a light pastel shade of blue mixed with pink cloud and a burning orange sun halfway through rising. He narrowed in on the waves again, listening to them settle momentarily before moving back. He recalled the time he went to the lake or the ocean when he younger. He recalled all those times he went with Sehun again. 

He sat out for a long period of time, reading and spacing out. He saw Baekhyun and Chanyeol walking by after a while, both barefoot and holding hands. They were quiet for once, but Junmyeon could tell they were content from the small smiles on there faces. They were delighted even. 

The day goes by swiftly like the wind outside. Junmyeon finishes his book and goes back inside the room for a nap. He locked the sliding door behind him and dove into the covers for an attempt of regaining lost sleep. He could only rest his eyes. 

He wanted Sehun with him, as desperate as that sounded. He saw all the other boys in each other’s company and it sadden him when the loneliness made its way up inside him. It was a very foreign feeling to him. He didn’t like it. It was like a hole inside him that he couldn’t tangibly fill or physically close. He was missing more than the boy; he was missing a part of himself. 

He eventually found sleep, lightly enough for him to slowly come awake once he heard the opening of the front door and a greeting from the rest of the boys. He didn’t fully come too till Minseok came into his room and shook him away, giving him the news that Sehun was back and he brought some barbecue take out for dinner. Junmyeon pretended to slowly wake up, waiting for the older boy to leave the room before sitting fully up and standing. He slowly walked down the steps, listening to the shuffling of bodies move around in a kitchen, gathering forks and plates and setting them on the table with clunks and shutters. He entered into the room, finding a new figure standing to the wall dressed in tight pants and a blazer. He was casually talking to Chanyeol about something, smirking and shaking his head while laughing. 

Sehun’s eyes found him soon enough, walking into the doorway. Sehun smiled at him fully with lips parted, showing pretty white teeth. He reached his arm out, inviting Junmyeon in which he took naturally. He walked and sunk into the taller boy’s side in a welcoming hug. Junmyeon glanced up from the embrace, finding Sehun still smiling at him. He loved that more than he could described. 

Sehun excused himself real quick to change clothes, squeezing his side and light padded his bottom as they parted and walked on by each other. 

Junmyeon sat down at the end, making his plate with the others as they ate and talked. Sehun came back shortly in a white T-shirt and shorts. The shirt was one that they would exchanged all the time, to the point they forgot who originally owned it. He sat down next to Junmyeon, picking up food for his plate while keeping his hand laid out lightly on his knee. He was warm again. 

Dinner was good. Everyone talked to Sehun mostly, asking if anyone asked where they were. Sehun didn’t get the chance to be asked. He simply went in and got out as fast as he could. He was suppose to call the manager when he was on his flight back but he didn’t. He didn’t seem to regret the action too much. Junmyeon could only smile and giggle at him. 

Dinner lasted for a long time with all of the boys talking and retelling long time stories that they only kept to themselves. It felt so much better than the act they normally had to put on for the audiences and cameras. This was how they really were, in there true human form that was almost never allow to be projected onto the world. From the way Chanyeol didn’t over dramatically laugh whenever a joke was told, to how Chen didn’t scream or whine constantly, to the way Kyungsoo leaned into Jongin’s side, and how Minseok put his arms around Jongdae‘s waist. This was real. 

Sehun’s hand still laid on his knee and their sides were touching as they sat. Junmyeon wondered if he would whether keep this from the world or not. It felt too special and private for any of them to share. Junmyeon almost felt as if he didn’t want to show that part of himself to anyone other than the closest people to him. He wanted to keep this warmth. 

Dinner ended hours later. Minseok claimed it was bed time, and time for everyone to put down the beer. He carried his last one to his shared room with Jongdae who was softly humming along with saying goodnight to everyone. Chanyeol and Baekhyun stole one last beer for each other before sneaking off to there room for the night. Kyungsoo and Jongin were settled on each other and the couch when Sehun and Junmyeon made their way up stairs. 

Sehun dove straight into the bed, leaving Junmyeon standing and chuckling at him. He turned off the lights before settling himself into bed with the other man. It was a large king bed, but Sehun till pulled him over to the end of his side, like they were still sharing a twin back in the dorms all those years ago. 

Junmyeon put his head in the crook of his neck and breathed in the familiar scent of his expensive cologne and the lasting salty undertone from the ocean water on his skin. Sehun went swimming everyday here, always coming back in with a towel around his neck and wet hair. He always try to hug Junmyeon afterwards, trying to secretly get him wet. Junmyeon always let him, despite the freezing water. 

Junmyeon clung onto his torso, making Sehun chuckle into the top of his hair. 

“You really did miss me, didn’t you?” 

“I always miss you when you’re away.” 

Junmyeon began to play with the crew collar of his T-shirt, mindlessly wondering in and back in the world, always revolving about the black hair beauty with him. He wondered how he was able to keep his breathing so slow and calm when Junmyeon could hear his racing heart. He wondered why he fought against it. He wondered why it happened for them in the first place. 

Sehun’s hand finally came up to cover his. He stopped moving his fingers once the younger boy’s graced his, carefully tracing them, soft skin touching his. Junmyeon lifted his head up to look at him. He had a deep look in his eyes and a ghost of a smile on his mouth. His pale skin shined and his heart raced more. Junmyeon knew his own was too, even though he couldn’t really feel much of anything whenever he looked at Sehun. 

Sehun was the first to lean in and Junmyeon met him in the middle. The feeling of his lips to his and his breath on his skin was enough to melt his heart slowly, enough to last the long night. 

They parted, breathless. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too. Always.” 

Sehun breathed an unstable gasped before lowering down to his face again. 

“Always.” He agreed before climbing over Junmyeon overall. He only responded afterwards with gasps of Sehun’s name. 

When they were finished, with only silky naked skin and empty lungs left, Junmyeon returned back to his place on his chest, hearing the other boy’s heart louder than his own. 

After a long time of rest, Sehun turned to his side to face him. They laid there, in each other arms, feeling lost and in love for all oblivion. 

Sehun nuzzled his face on top of his head, taking a deep breath before starting to hum the melody of a soft ballad about a long night full of love after a fight. It was soft and sweet, making him close his eyes without realizing it. 

He just laid there and listened to the other boy sing to him, with the waves moving in the distance and the sound of their beating hearts and longing phased breathing in the background. This is what the feeling of warmth would sound like, he decided

**Author's Note:**

> Happy late birthday to the pretty eyed cat of Exo! 
> 
> Also, Congrat to the first Korean soloist of exo for his beautiful album. 
> 
> I love you both.


End file.
